Early childhood is a critical time period in development when children begin to learn about their environment, develop a sense of self and explore how to express their emotions. While a huge part of development occurs prior to entering school, children continue to grow and develop as they encounter new life experiences. Positive relationships with parents help children develop trust, empathy, compassion and a sense of right and wrong. 

It is important that parents foster social and emotional learning throughout early experiences. According to experts, when kids learn to work well with others, regulate their emotions and engage in problem-solving, they are better prepared to deal with life’s challenges and be more successful in school. 

What Is Social and Emotional Learning?
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Social and emotional learning (SEL) involves creating positive relationships and emotional connections as part of learning to help children develop the skills they need to be successful in life. SEL has often been emphasized in schools, given the amount of time spent in the classroom and the opportunities available to practice these important skills. SEL skills include having the ability to:

• Set and achieve positive goals.
• Feel and show empathy toward others.
• Establish and maintain positive relationships.
• Make responsible decisions.
• Understand and manage emotions.

Strategies for Supporting SEL in Kids
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• Reinforce appropriate behavior. Children and adolescents often learn about how to behave by receiving direct feedback from adults. When you notice that your child is engaging in a desired behavior, such as sharing or helping others, be sure to provide some verbal praise. The more that you reinforce appropriate behavior, the greater the chances kids will repeat such behaviors and those behaviors will become a habit.

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• Encourage cooperation. Conflict resolution is necessary for navigating difficult conversations, interacting with different personalities and maintaining relationships with peers. Create opportunities for your child to interact with peers or family members to help them learn how to get along, share and manage their frustrations. Teach your child how to use their words to talk through situations and learn how to compromise. Modeling appropriate behavior for kids is another useful strategy to teach cooperation.

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• Encourage emotional expression. Children and adults need to be able to express their emotions to cope with uncertainty in life and for their overall well-being. Emotional expression helps others understand how you feel, allows you to manage your stress, worry or sadness, and prevents negative coping. Holding in your emotions or denying your feelings could lead to difficulties, such as acting out in anger or verbal or physical aggression. One easy way to teach children about expressing and managing their emotions is by using books. The American Psychological Association offers some suggestions of useful books for social and emotional learning, from “Abracadabra!: The Magic of Trying” by Maria Loretta Giraldo for 4- to 8-year-olds to “What to Do When Mistakes Make Your Quake: A Kid’s Guide to Accepting Imperfection” by Claire A. B. Freeland and Jacqueline B. Toner for 8- to 12-year-olds.

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• Teach empathy. Empathy involves the ability to emotionally understand what others are experiencing and to have some perspective on how others think and feel. Empathy is not only important to understand how others experience life, but it can prepare your child to have better relationships with their peers and in adulthood. Use examples from television, books or watching the news to help children learn empathy. You could, for instance, discuss how medical doctors and nurses are working to care for others and ask your child what thoughts or feelings they imagine health care workers are experiencing. By teaching empathy, you can promote helping others without expecting something in return.

Remember that life is unpredictable, and many children are learning by watching the actions of adults in their lives. Early childhood is also a critical opportunity to teach social and emotional skills. As kids grow and develop,  it is necessary to prepare them to deal with uncertainty now to help them thrive in adulthood.

Visit the Therapy for Black Kids book recommendations for books on fostering SEL: http://bit.ly/T4BKbooks

A version of this was originally written by Dr. Erlanger Turner for the US News and World Report For Parents Blog 

It’s important to keep in mind that sadness and depression are not the same. While we all may become sad at some point in life, depression is a mental health condition. Common symptoms of depression may include sadness for an extended period of time, irritability, sleep difficulties, lack of appetite, and problems concentrating. Given the recent increased rates of suicide among Black youth, it is important to monitor for symptoms of depression in your child. A recent study reported that Black children between ages 5 to 12 had a suicide rate approximately two times higher than their same-aged white peers (Bridge, Horowitz, Fontanella, et al., 2018). During this stressful time period, it is important to look out for warning signs and seek help from a mental health provider to help address concerns with depression or other mental health difficulties. Many providers are offering services via teletherapy or online therapy.

The National Institute of Mental Health offers these questions to ask your child to help determine whether they may be experiencing depression:

• Do you constantly feel sad, anxious, or even “empty,” like you feel nothing?
• Do you feel hopeless or like everything is going wrong?
• Do you feel like you’re worthless or helpless? Do you feel guilty about things?
• Do you feel irritable much of the time?
• Do you find yourself spending more time alone and withdrawing from friends and family?
• Are your grades dropping?
• Have you lost interest or pleasure in activities and hobbies that you used to enjoy?
• Have your eating or sleeping habits changed (eating or sleeping more than usual or less than usual)?

Warning Signs for Parents to Seek Professional Help

Parents have the responsibility to protect their children from all harm. Physical pains are often easier to recognize and treat than mental disorders. Still, it is sometimes challenging to identify when a child is having emotional or behavioral problems at home, school, or with their friends. These related emotional behaviors often leave parents feeling confused and unsure about how to best support their child.

In addition to concerns about depression, research suggests that nearly one in six children between the ages of 6-17 is affected by an emotional or behavioral disorder (Whitney & Peterson, 2019). As a parent, you may recognize that something is not right with your child but might have challenges in understanding the mental health signs or knowing what to do next. Because children and teens are still learning how to identify and talk about thoughts and emotions, their mental health symptoms are often behavioral. Each mental health concern has its own specific symptoms, but common symptoms in children and teens may include the following:

• Frequent disobedience or aggression

• Hyperactive behaviors

• Avoiding friends, family, and social activities

• Prolonged or intense feelings of irritability or anger

• Changes in sleeping habits, persistent nightmares, and low energy

• Excessive worry, for instance, fighting to avoid bed or school

• Changes in school performance

• Obsessive concerns with their weight, shape, or appearance

• Eating significantly more or less than usual

• Multiple physical complaints without apparent causes (e.g., headaches, stomach aches, vague and ongoing “aches and pains”)

By observing these behaviors and listening to your parental instincts, you can voice your concerns and begin the journey of finding and advocating for the professional help your child may need.

References:

Bridge, J. A., Horowitz, L. M., Fontanella, C. A., Sheftall, A. H., Greenhouse, J., Kelleher, K. J., & Campo, J. V. (2018). Age-related racial disparity in suicide rates among US youths from 2001 through 2015. JAMA Pediatrics, 172(7), 697-699.

National Institute of Mental Health (2020). Teen Depression. Retrieved March 25, 2020 from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/teen-depression/index.shtml.

Turner (2019). Mental Health Among African Americans: Innovations in Research and Practice. Rowman & Littlefield Publishing.

Whitney, D.G., Peterson, M.D. (2019). US National and State-Level Prevalence of Mental Health Disorders and Disparities of Mental Health Care Use in Children. JAMA Pediatrics, 173(4):389–391.

Originally written by Dr. Erlanger Turner and Dr. Thomas Vance for Successful Black Parenting