Category: Resilience

Creating emotional intelligence in kids

7/15/2021

Photo by Suad Kamardeen on Unsplash

Early childhood is a critical time period in development when children begin to learn about their environment, develop a sense of self and explore how to express their emotions. While a huge part of development occurs prior to entering school, children continue to grow and develop as they encounter new life experiences. Positive relationships with parents help children develop trust, empathy, compassion and a sense of right and wrong.

It is important that parents foster social and emotional learning throughout early experiences. According to experts, when kids learn to work well with others, regulate their emotions and engage in problem-solving, they are better prepared to deal with life’s challenges and be more successful in school.

What Is Social and Emotional Learning?

Social and emotional learning (SEL) involves creating positive relationships and emotional connections as part of learning to help children develop the skills they need to be successful in life. SEL has often been emphasized in schools, given the amount of time spent in the classroom and the opportunities available to practice these important skills. SEL skills include having the ability to:

Set and achieve positive goals.
Feel and show empathy toward others.
Establish and maintain positive relationships.
Make responsible decisions.
Understand and manage emotions.

Strategies for Supporting SEL in Kids

Reinforce appropriate behavior. Children and adolescents often learn about how to behave by receiving direct feedback from adults. When you notice that your child is engaging in a desired behavior, such as sharing or helping others, be sure to provide some verbal praise. The more that you reinforce appropriate behavior, the greater the chances kids will repeat such behaviors and those behaviors will become a habit.

Encourage cooperation. Conflict resolution is necessary for navigating difficult conversations, interacting with different personalities and maintaining relationships with peers. Create opportunities for your child to interact with peers or family members to help them learn how to get along, share and manage their frustrations. Teach your child how to use their words to talk through situations and learn how to compromise. Modeling appropriate behavior for kids is another useful strategy to teach cooperation.

Encourage emotional expression. Children and adults need to be able to express their emotions to cope with uncertainty in life and for their overall well-being. Emotional expression helps others understand how you feel, allows you to manage your stress, worry or sadness, and prevents negative coping. Holding in your emotions or denying your feelings could lead to difficulties, such as acting out in anger or verbal or physical aggression. One easy way to teach children about expressing and managing their emotions is by using books. The American Psychological Association offers some suggestions of useful books for social and emotional learning, from “Abracadabra!: The Magic of Trying” by Maria Loretta Giraldo for 4- to 8-year-olds to “What to Do When Mistakes Make Your Quake: A Kid’s Guide to Accepting Imperfection” by Claire A. B. Freeland and Jacqueline B. Toner for 8- to 12-year-olds.

Teach empathy. Empathy involves the ability to emotionally understand what others are experiencing and to have some perspective on how others think and feel. Empathy is not only important to understand how others experience life, but it can prepare your child to have better relationships with their peers and in adulthood. Use examples from television, books or watching the news to help children learn empathy. You could, for instance, discuss how medical doctors and nurses are working to care for others and ask your child what thoughts or feelings they imagine health care workers are experiencing. By teaching empathy, you can promote helping others without expecting something in return.

Remember that life is unpredictable, and many children are learning by watching the actions of adults in their lives. Early childhood is also a critical opportunity to teach social and emotional skills. As kids grow and develop, it is necessary to prepare them to deal with uncertainty now to help them thrive in adulthood.

Visit the Therapy for Black Kids book recommendations for books on fostering SEL: http://bit.ly/T4BKbooks

A version of this was originally written by Dr. Erlanger Turner for the US News and World Report For Parents Blog

6 Ways to Build Resilience in Black Youth

2/15/2021

Image via Unsplash

Resilience is the ability to overcome difficulties and adapt to changes in life. For example, many Black kids and their families may have experienced difficulties related to COVID-19 but they have been able to maintain their emotional and psychological health despite these difficulties. Several different types of resilience have been described including psychological, emotional, and community.

Black History Month and Resilience

Black History Month is an important moment to celebrate the legacy and contributions of Black people to society. Some scholars [1] have described how Black history knowledge (BHK) helps “foster psychological liberation - healthy functioning characterized by a conceptual shift from a narrative rooted only in oppression to a narrative that acknowledges the strengths, accomplishments, and creativity of Black people throughout their history”. Furthermore, BHK can provide Black youth with knowledge of the historical experiences of Black people in America to provide them with a healthier identity and it can help promote resilience [1].

6 Ways to Build Resilience in Black Youth

Although being resilient doesn’t prevent children and teens from experiencing emotional difficulties in the face of negative life events. Research demonstrates that resilience helps to reduce risk and promote healthy development. Below are a few tips from the American Psychological Association.

Make connections: Teach your child the importance of engaging and connecting with their peers, including the skill of empathy and listening to others. This is extremely important given some limitations due to the pandemic. Find ways to help children foster connectivity by suggesting they connect to friends and family through phone, video chats, and texts. Connecting with others provides social support and strengthens resilience.
Maintain a daily routine: Sticking to a routine can be comforting to children, especially younger children who crave structure in their lives. Work with your child to develop a routine, and highlight times that are for school, work, and play. Particularly during times of distress or transition, you might need to be flexible with some routines. At the same time, schedules and consistency are important to maintain.
Teach your child self-care: Teach your child the importance of basic self-care. This may be making more time to eat properly, exercise, and get sufficient sleep. Make sure your child has time to have fun, and participate in activities they enjoy. Caring for oneself and even having fun will help children stay balanced and better deal with stressful times.
Nurture a positive self-view: Help your child remember ways they have successfully handled hardships in the past and help them understand that these past challenges help build the strength to handle future challenges. Help your child learn to trust themselves to solve problems and make appropriate decisions. At school, help children see how their individual accomplishments contribute to the wellbeing of the class as a whole.
Keep things in perspective: Even when your child is facing very painful events such as COVID-19, help them look at the situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Although your child may be too young to consider a long-term look on their own, help them see that there is a future beyond the current situation and that the future can be good. A positive outlook can help children to see the good things in life and keep going even in the hardest times.
Accept change: Change can be scary for children and teens. Help your child see that change is part of life and new goals can replace goals that have become unattainable. It is important to examine what is going well, and to have a plan of action for what is not going well. In school, point out how students have changed as they moved up in grade levels and discuss how that change has had an impact on the students.

Written by Erlanger “Earl” Turner, Ph.D.

Source:

[1] Chapman-Hilliard, C., & Adams-Bass, V. (2016). A conceptual framework for utilizing Black history knowledge as a path to psychological liberation for Black youth. Journal of Black Psychology, 42(6), 479-507.

Note: This blog was previously published for Psychology Today

Creating emotional intelligence in kids

6 Ways to Build Resilience in Black Youth

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